The birth of our first son.

On Wednesday, December 16th, 2009, at 2:28 pm, we welcomed a new baby boy to our family. Logan was actually due on my birthday - December 23rd - so instead of sharing a birthday, Logan and I will forever have our birthdays exactly one week apart.

Yang actually first started feeling contractions on Monday, Dec. 14th just before 5 am (meaning Yang was in labour for almost 58 hours in total!) Contractions were pretty far apart at first. Yang felt that she could get through the day and I went to work. We started timing how far apart they were Monday night - 15 minutes apart when we first starting keeping track. Monday night was pretty tough for Yang as she could only get sleep in between each of the contractions which were getting closer and closer. Tuesday morning, they were getting pretty close together (3 to 5 minutes apart) so we headed to the North York General Hospital at around 9 am. The nurses checked her out in the assessment room and determined that Yang was only 1 cm dilated. They sent us home as it was just too soon. We actually had an OB appointment later that morning and our OB assured us that we would have the baby within the week. This news was a bit discouraging to the already exhausted mother-to-be. We wanted to know what sign we should be looking for to go back to the hospital. The answer was when she could no longer bear the pain.

I actually went to work on Tuesday after the appointment, but came home at the end of the day anticipating that it might be my last day of the year. Meanwhile, Yang's contractions just kept on getting closer and closer. And she was getting more and more exhausted. At 6 am, Wednesday morning, she actually puked and was not able to keep anything down from that point forward. The contractions were still just 3 to 5 minutes apart. After a pretty rough morning including seeing some blood come out of her and two more pukes, we headed to the hospital again. It was 10:30 am when we got there. The nurses assessed her again. Yang was so exhausted that if they told her that she was just 2 cm dilated, she would've asked for some pain killers, something Yang was adamant she would do without before all this labour started. The nurses said that she was 6 to 7 cm dilated, and that it was going to happen today.

The nurse assigned to us, Patty (who was amazing!), told us that the baby would come out during her shift. She took us to our birthing room and put Yang in a jacuzzi to give her some more comfort. I called my parents and left a message with them saying that our baby would be here in a matter of hours.

After about an hour in the jacuzzi, Patty brought Yang to the birthing bed, and helped Yang through her contractions. They examined her again, found that she was approaching 10 cm dilated and called for our OB. We actually were anticipating that we would be without our OB for the birth of our baby as she was scheduled to be on vacation during that Christmas week when Logan was due. But even though we delivered a week early, she still couldn't be there as she had to go to a funeral that day. Instead, we had Dr. Hershenfield, who ended up being Logan's doctor, so it worked out well.

Dr. Hershenfield, Patty, and myself helped Yang through the pushing phase. The first sight of some of Logan's head hair was just thrilling to see. As Yang pushed more and more, more of Logan came out. Yang was so amazing throughout all this. No epidural, no pain killing medication, just all determination. Words cannot fully express just how proud I am of her.

At 2:28 pm, Logan came out and was immediately put on Yang's chest for some important skin to skin time. Both mom and baby were so alert and able to bond right from that first moment. Yang and I looked at each other and it really sank in; we're now parents.

I was able to cut the cord and took pictures while they weighed Logan for the first time - a whopping 7 pounds 10.6 ounces. He measured 21 inches in length. We named him: Logan Leafs Chatterjee.

...

My parents and brother came to the hospital in the evening to meet their new grandson/nephew. We made some calls to some people to tell them the news. This was earlier than everyone expected. We stayed in the hospital overnight. There were some tests the nurses wanted to perform on Logan during those first 24 hours. I changed all of Logan's diapers during that time, and was woken up by his cries all night. Yang was feeding him every couple of hours while trying to recover herself from what she just went through. This was our new reality; life for us has changed forever. We're now responsible for the well-being of this new person.

We left the hospital on the evening of December 17th and headed for home. My mom stayed with us for the first few days helping us with cooking for the most part. Pretty much every day we had some sort of doctor's appointment or appointment with a lactation consultant. There were some scares in the beginning with his rising bilirubin levels (cause of jaundice), his cries all night due to hunger before Yang's milk came in, his weight loss, his weak cries, and a couple of vomits, but it's been two weeks now and his doctor today was very impressed with his progress (he's 7 pounds, 15.4 ounces today!).

I'm off from work for three and a half weeks including all the holidays. The time has been all about waking up every few hours, changing diapers, being poo'd and pee'd on, doing laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and taking lots of pictures. And that's all nothing compared to what is being demanded of Yang around the clock. It certainly hasn't been a vacation and I really feel like I missed my birthday and Christmas this year, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Logan is part of our new family now. We're very much looking forward to raising him right and watching him grow. These past two weeks have been unforgettable. Life as I knew it has forever changed.

Logan's very proud new dad,
-rajib

The countdown is on...

We're getting pretty close now. It's December, the baby is due in just over 3 weeks.

Last Friday was a pretty sad day for me. It was Yang's last day at EGD. That may have been the last day we ever worked together. We've been working together for as long as we've known each other, so it's a big change being downgraded to "normal couple". I already miss going to work together, eating lunch together, and coming home together...

There's a big positive coming up soon though! Baby is growing and is very active. I really can't wait to meet him in just over three short weeks!

Just 23 days to go (until due date)...

-rajib

i felt it move!

I felt a kick last night in my wife's tummy for the first time, while playing video games with her. That was a totally cool experience.

Yes, we're expecting! And very excited to be as well! Kid1 should be arriving in this world on or around December 23rd. WHAT a coincidence!

We have our second ultrasound scheduled for this coming Wednesday (we'll be 19 weeks at that point). We might be able to find out the sex of our baby that day. We'll both be thrilled either way it goes.

I really can't wait to meet Kid1. This year is going to be such a memorable one for the two of us... just five months from now, EVERYTHING is going to change.

Feeling Kid1 through Yang really made it sink in for me. There will soon be a new member of our family. I really am excited to meet him or her!

-rajib

Remembering 2008

This is Rajib! I realize that it haas been a long while since I posted anything on this (I just checked - it has been 569 days). I ... I was busy? I dunno. Obviously, lots has happened in our lives since I last wrote. Let me see if I can pick my favourite events of 2008...

#5: Celebrating our good friends' weddings: Congrats to Ram and Shima and Adam and Shami!

#4: Celebrating our birthdays: We played lots of Settlers and other games with friends for Yang's 29th and headed to Fallsview at Niagara Falls to gamble for my 32nd.

#3: Summer in the city: Going to the beach at Ashbridges Bay, Taste of the Danforth, Cherry Picking in Niagara, and just going for walks in parks around us.

#2: Big trip to Las Vegas and Grand Canyon. This was a last minute backup trip (we wanted to go to Peru), but it worked out very well. I loved Vegas! Yang loved the Canyon. We both loved the trip!

And #1: We had our first anniversary on May 19th, 2008, Victoria Day long weekend. We celebrated by just doing our own thing: a nice dinner out the night before, spoiling ourselves at a spa on the day of, Yang's amazing cooking on the night of, and actually watching fireworks all over the city from the comfort of our condo window. I realized then that it was the first Victoria Day we've spent in the condo. In 2006, we hadn't moved in yet. In 2007, we were on our honeymoon. The condo actually has an amazing view of fireworks all over the city. It was the perfect way to end the perfect first anniversary with my perfect wife.

-rajib

New Discovery

Rajib and I have known each other for almost 3 years now, but we had never been skiing together until we recently discovered a new ski spot, which is only 1 block away from our condo.

We decided to check it out over the holidays, so we went last Saturday. We had a late breakfast at home, took a shower, then got dressed for skiing. The drive was only 3 minutes to Earl Bales Park ski center from home. Being able to start the ski day slow and relaxed was such a plus, it made us much happier not having to drive a long way out of the city. We decided to purchase 2 hours of lift tickets. The ski rental and lift prices were fairly reasonable. It costs $70 for the both of us.


The Earl Bales Ski Center isn't big. But since we are both very much at the beginner level, a small hill wouldn't come close to a reason to dissatisfy us anyways. It turned out to be a day with lots of fun. The slop wasn't as crowded as I expected, until 4pm, when the kids could ski for free on Saturday night. It was also a rare sunny winter day with no wind. Weather was beautiful, and we could see the condos at Yonge and Sheppard from top of the hill. Unfortunately ours was blocked by other buildings.

Definitely we will go visit again, can't wait! For future reference, here is the website.

-Yang

Trip of Cherry Picking

I had planned to go for cherry picking on the past Sunday almost a week ago. The cherry season here is in the month of July, so I really hoped for a good weather. If I missed this weekend, it will probably be next year when I have another chance again.

When I woke up on Sunday morning, it was dark as night outside. Too bad, it was a rainy day, and the dark clouds extended to the end of the sky, as far as I could see. Not a single patch of thinner cloud that could let in some sun. It was so disappointing!!! Our friends had dropped out of the trip because of the rain. Our determination was definitely shaken too at this point.

After breakfast, husband and I sat there and tried to think of something alternative to do for the day: maybe go to a movie, or cook Indian food to kill time? Nothing suits the mood. Then finally, our desire for cherries had pushed us to go to the cherry farm anyways ... let's take a chance!

The drive was more than one hour from North York to Beamsville. I was constantly looking around at the clouds and trying to examine the condition and predict what the weather would be like ahead. I had never paid this much attention to the weather before, at least not in the recent years when I was trapped in office buildings throughout the days.

The endless dark clouds were actually not as far as it seemed. We drove out of it within 20 minutes. Then I could see some light clouds coming up -- I was completely thrilled inside -- yay, it's gonna be good weather on the farm! But wait, I was too happy too early. Only another 10 minutes gone by, we had driven out of the good weather already, and there is endless darkness ahead of us. Soon after, it became shower, then it was pouring. I heard the rain banging on the car and the road was completely white. I shouted at my husband: "Can we still pick cherries in this weather? Have you regretted about coming out?" We had driven more than half way out, it was too late to turn around, so we kept on going. I checked the time over and over, we were only 20 minutes away from the farm now, the rain better stop. As I was thinking, it really became smaller and smaller, we could see some lights at the end of the highway again. When we were finally out of the rain, there were some beautiful fog welcoming us. We went through the fog again and left it behind us.

I thought it was a perfect journey for a natural science class. And it sort of felt like driving through time as well, experiencing all the different weathers in mere an hour of time. Summer weather is this interesting!

During the entire two and half hours while we were picking cherries on the farm, the weather was cloudy, but it treated us kindly without much rain. We had a lot of fun and brought home 17 pounds of cherries!

I am really grad that we took the chance to come out for the trip. For future reference, this is the place we went.

The fridge is filled up with the dark and sweet cherries now! Time for me to eat some cherries.

-Yang

Fears

Lately I am really afraid of death. The feelings of fear occur to me so often that it alone scares me. So I decided to categorize my fears and here they are of 3 types:

1) afraid of driving. I actually feel safe driving on city roads and under 110 on highways. If hubby drives 130 on highway, or if there is snow, then I get nervous. And the thing that I am most afraid of when driving are the big trucks on highway. I always follow them so far behind so that I have time to react if they flip over; or if I really have to pass them, I would have to build up my courage and cross my figures (of course in my mind only, I would not cross my figures physically when passing a big truck on a highway). Obviously hubby is not afraid of any of these things -- he would still drive normally (fast) on a highway, in the snow and beside a big truck. I would hold the handle really tight and feel a huge triumph after we have survived.

2) afraid of being shot. My hubby thinks this is nonsense. Maybe I have heard too many incidents of murder, gun shot, youth crime in Toronto on the radio recently. I know it's crazy. But when a stranger walks up to me in a hallway, parking lot or on the street, sometimes I suspect maybe he has a gun and I am in his way to finish his business. I am pretty sure all those innocent people who were being shot didn't know it coming either.

3) afraid of my husband dying of heart-attack. When I get so frustrated with my hubby's bad eating habit, I will have these imaginations of my hubby dying in his 50's of heart-attack. Then I get so sad I would cry for a while by myself. I feel unfair that I am only newly married and it's too early for me to be worried about my husband's health. Other than forcing him to eat fruits and vegetables and tofu, I can only be upset at his mom for not even teaching him -- simple as that -- what is good to eat. I find myself eating cake off his plate (I don't even like sweets) just so that he can eat less -- maybe I can take a couple years off my life and give it to him. At the end, what am I going to do with 50 years of my life alone when I live until a 100? It's a very selfish thing that I am doing. Because now I understand why people say that, the lucky one dies first.

* * *

Remember just 5 - 6 years ago, I was never afraid of anything. I lived in this new country alone, so excited about all the adventures and rarely thought of consequences. I would totally take risk, get drunk and enjoy the moment in any way that someone dares me to.

Today everything has changed. It's the fact that now I have a husband who I love very much and the responsibilities I have to take care of the family (us and our relatives) and the fact that now I own things (my gold and pearl jeweleries, RRSPs and our home) and the prospects of having children ... all of a sudden makes the future so hopeful and so much to live for; and health, safety and routine became so important to me that I would never have imagined. And only now that I feel deeper than ever that life is so precious but fragile, any unexpected things could happen to take away what I have and will have in the future.

I also remember a long long time ago I read in a magazine about the 3 things that define happiness:

• someone you can love
• something you enjoy doing
• hope for the future
  

Now I have all of them. I also have a by-product of happiness, that is the fear of losing it.

-Yang